Apr 2016

When does forgiveness happen?

When does forgiveness happen…..or even ….do i need to forgive?

Sometimes, I think I’ve made it through something, just to find out I haven’t.
Sometimes, I think I’ve gotten over how someone has treated me, just to find out I haven’t. They send an email and though it is all flowery on the surface, in that email there is one line that sticks out that tells me they haven’t changed. Through saying they are at fault and should have been more empathetic to what I was going through. Excuse me? What and underhanded way of saying that I was the issue. It was all I could do not to tell the world about this person’s lies and stories. I still have them in writing. Yet, I was the problem.
So, what do you do when you are faced with that person wanting to be in your life again? To me, they feel like a passive/aggressive abuser. That’s the feeling I get when I’m around them and any time I read something they have read. Should I have empathy for them? My Buddhist flavored side says yes. My ‘protect dawn from abusers because no one else will’, says no.
Putting this person back into my life, feels like walking back into the life of my main childhood abuser. They are both gaslighters and I don’t want people like that in my life. It hurts even more, because this person was a person that needed healing and I pulled out my Qadishtu side. They used it. It happens.

So, now, what to do. It seems like the decision should be easy. But, it involves other people. 

i'm a Qadishtu

So….I’ve always know that I’m a Qadishtu, but recently it really struck me that in fact I am.
A Qadishtu is a Priestess of Sacred Sexuality. I came across the word more than a decade ago and it always rang true for me. I love to help others find and embrace their sexuality. I love to lead ritual using sexual energy. I love everything about it. Sex Magic, Sacred Touch, Sexual Healing,…it all rings true to me. It is part of my path. I actually wish I had more time to walk the path that means so much to me.
Recently, well for the past couple of years, I’ve been wanting to bring my Reiki and Meditation skills to Military Veterans. It’s been a powerful feeling. I really want to do this and help them adjust to life back in the mainstream world. There are too many suicides by these young men when they get back, and not enough help for them.
And even though I teach this stuff, I never really put 2 and 2 together until recently. Qadishti in the past, were also described as Temple Prostitutes. Temple Prostitutes were there to help Soldiers when they came home. The soldiers would visit the Temples and the Priestesses (Prostitutes) before going home to their families. The Priestess’s would spend time with the soldiers and be the vessel of the Goddess, taking their pain and aggression through the power of sexual healing. These interactions would calm the soldiers down so that they could return to their families well–adjusted.
This is what I want to do. And though it’s frowned upon to do so with sexual healing anymore, I can do it through Reiki and Meditation. Giving them the tools to adjust back to mainstream society.

I am Qadishtu.  

Transgender Bathrooms...Really Folks?

OK…..like a lot of political posts and other meme’s on facebook, I’ve done my best not to reply to the whole transgenders in our bathrooms posts…..but in the shower this morning, it struck me that with as many transgender friends that I have, I should speak up.

I’m not sure who started this fear mongering or why……but all this hubbub about transgenders in our bathrooms….seems silly to me.

Why? Because I work and live in the LGBTQ world and have many friends that are Transgender. Fearing a person because they identify themselves differently on the inside than what their body shows on the oustside, makes no sense to me.  I don’t fear them. I don’t fear them being in my bathroom. I didn’t fear them being around my kids, or grandchild, just because they are transgender.  Being transgender has nothing to do with anything. Hell, replace the word ‘transgender’ with any descriptive word; ‘black’, ‘white’, ‘fat’, ‘skinny’, ‘guy’, ’girl’….and the list goes on and on.

A transgender doesn’t have a criminal mind because they are transgender, as this fear mongering seems to imply. A transgender doesn’t have a criminal mind just because they are transgender. Do you know who does have a criminal mind? A criminal. And they hide, and they are sneaky where they hide.

The adults that I work with that were abused/molested were not abused/molested by transgenders. They were abused/molested by what everyone else sees as ‘everyday folk’. By the people that they should have been able to trust; Fathers, Mothers, Siblings, Grandparents, Teachers, Coaches, Bus Drivers, Clergy, Neighbors, Baby Sitters, Friend’s siblings……never, not once, was it a transgender in a bathroom that did the deed.

So what is the purpose behind making people fear a certain class of people? Ask yourself that. What is the purpose of turning our attention to this? What else is going on that lawmakers don’t want you to notice, because they’ve got us wrapped up in the fear of something so minor in the scheme of what is going on in the world.

As a side note  - by making rules about keeping transgenders out of their assigned gender bathrooms, do you think that makes us ‘safe’ from criminal activity? Tell that to the girl that was murdered in the women’s bathroom in the Salisbury Mall, about 15 minutes after me and my then 5 year old son left….by a guy who just walked in and had waited in one of the stalls. My son had to go to the police station to identify the shoes that he had seen under the stall wall while we were in there. It could have been us.

So, instead of teaching our kids how to fear transgenders or anyone that falls into a label, teach them how to watch out for themselves in any situation, not just from people that may be different than them.