Over the weekend I got a chance to teach at the unconference on metamours. It was actually a lot of fun. I love to teach. And it was even easier because it wasn’t really teaching, it was leading a discussion with using my experience to lead with.
At the Unconference, someone had written on a piece of paper that they wanted to learn about supporting metamours. I have a little experience with that, though it used to be really hard for me to do. And there have been some metamours that I wasn’t interested in supporting at all. But, recently, with my boyfriends, wife…who is my metamour….I’m learning how to do this supporting thing, more graciously and with forethought.

The discussion was awesome. Here we are at a kink event and someone wants to talk poly. No one else had spoken up wanting to teach poly, so I did. All the other classes going on around us was about skills, so I didn’t think anyone would come to this discussion. Wrong! 20 people showed up. Some just listened and some had some input. It was good stuff. And I realized I support my metamours a little more than I actually thought I did.

A lot of this has to do with my boyfriend’s wife though. She is just so gracious and happy that he is happy. She supports me all the time. I like it. So, in return, I try to support my partner and his partners. Though, I still have my boundaries. There is only so much I can do. For example, all of my metamours seem to be extroverts at the moment. I’m not. I’m so not. So, if they want to go out and do things, I’m usually not interested. Those are my boundaries. I don’t make my husband go out with my partners on his own, so I feel pretty ok about not having to go out with his on my own. It has nothing to do with them, and that’s what I talked about in the discussion and on our podcast; just because I don’t want to spend time with someone, doesn’t mean I don’t think they are an ok person. I just don’t like spending time with people, much.

So, again, great topic.