Care of the Soul

I don't need to be fixed...for the most part

Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore

It seems that I can’t read one book at a time. I read a little of one, let it percolate, see if anything sticks, and then read part of another book and do the same thing, switching back and forth. Sometimes it works and I retain information, sometimes not....but has been a pattern of mine for a very long time. Each book seems to build off the other. I’ve thought about changing my pattern before, but it seems to work for me.

So......from the intro of ‘Care of the Soul’.....

“Modern psychologies and therapies often contain and unspoken but clear salvational tone. If you could only learn to be assertive, loving, angry, expressive, contemplative, or thin, they imply, your troubles would be over.”

We see this all the time on magazine covers, self-help book titles, talk shows, etc. etc. If we just fixed ourselves, we’d be happier. They forget that everyone has their own way of existing in this world. We all have different paths. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Why not find the life path that works for you and matches your strengths, or turns your ‘weaknesses’ into strengths. Why does everything have to be fixed?

Sometimes, we are so unhappy that we aren’t someone else, or handling things differently than we are, that we forget that we are where we are supposed to be. We cling so hard to where we think we should be, that we can’t be happy with who we are. Mainstream psychology seems to agree with this thought.

Personally, I was lucky to have a counselor in my life that did not follow mainstream. When I complained that I wanted to trust people more and that I didn’t like having shields, she asked me how that would have worked for me when I was growing up. I had to look at those personality traits as strengths, not weaknesses. They may not serve me now, or do they? If I blindly trusted everyone, where would I be?

So, I’m learning to really look at where I am, and accept it. Do I want to behave differently in certain situations? Maybe. If so, I’ll continue to work on breaking habitual patterns. But, I also need to accept where I am in the process, and not worry about trying to make myself into something I’m not. Embracing the way I’m wired, makes me a much happier person.

This is just a little piece of the book. I’ve skimmed ahead and know that there will be other things that I want to write about, so will leave this for now.

But, basically what I want to remember, is that we all have different personality traits, different ways of handling our situations and not all of them need to be fixed, just because someone else thinks so.