Poly Pod

Joy of Poly - Portraits

Joys of Polyamory
Formal Portraits

One of the things that I was able to experience during the weekend of Beyond The Love, was getting my picture taken both with my husband and my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I didn’t think to get them done together. That would have been awesome.

But, the fact that I was able to get one done with the boyfriend, is totally new for me. Dan and I have always shared a girlfriend, but this is only the second time that I’ve had a boyfriend on my own. The first one, just wasn’t like this one. I’m really enjoying myself with this one.

So, I’m going to post the pics here. I’m curious to see what it will feel like to see them together.

This time last year, I had the opportunity to have a characature done of us at a Christmas party, and I refused. We had only been for a few months and I didn’t feel like we were solid enough to do something like that. I’m weird. I know.

This is absolutely a ‘joy of polyamory’.

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Aha!!


aha-moment


Have you ever had that moment where it strikes you that you love someone more than they could ever love you?
 
How do you handle it? Do you believe it has something to do with you? Or just that that is the way they are designed? Or how you are designed? Or?
 
For me, at the moment, it just is what it is. I’ve had this realization before, and then I forget. When I forget, I start having expectations that they just can’t live up to. I don’t like having expectations of people, and when I catch myself having them, I try to talk myself out of them. But, every now and then it catches me by surprise.
 
‘If someone loved me as much as I love them, they would…….’, ‘If they really loved me they would know….’, ‘If they truly loved me they would….’. Regardless of how it’s stated in my head, or how I feel about a situation, it seems that my thought process is that I love them more than they could ever love me.
 
What I have to remember is that we all love differently. Introverts, extroverts, the 5 love languages, our personal filters, what we consider love….all of it effects how we love others. Even our day to day experiences can effect how we love others.
 
And for all I know, they are asking themselves the same thing…..’do they love me as much as I love them?’. Because they see my actions as different than how they would act when they are in love.
 
And then the question, ‘what is love?’ begs to be asked.
 
Wow….I started this little writing to lament over how I love someone more than they will ever be able to love me. That they aren’t in love with me as much as I’m in love with them. And instead, I’ve convinced myself that they do, they just show it in a different way and I need to not be attached to the ways they show their love.
 

Aha!
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Stepping out of my shell

Well, I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday and decided to do something with the ‘poly pod’. Why do i call it the ‘poly pod’? Well, i’m not comfortable with ‘family’, as my kids and granddaughter are my ‘family’. i like ‘tribe’ and ‘clan’ except that some of us don’t really interact with others of us, and some are new to the mix. So, ‘poly pod’ just seemed to pop into my head. i’m sure i’ve heard of it somewhere recently.

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Doing all of this research on introverts had me thinking that i really do need to work at nurturing relationships. So, let’s do a potluck with all of us. And that’s what i’ve put together. That way none of have to decide who to spend time with. bat has her new girlfriend down, Karen it dating someone new, i’d like to spend time with my boyfriend but don’t want to leave my husband or his wife behind, and i’m betting Dan likes having his girls all together. A potluck sounded like a good idea.

It’s going to be food....and boardgames, on neutral territory. Well, neutral for the most part since Dan and i own the space. But, it’s not specifically someones house where anyone would feel like a guest instead of a peer.

Part of me is looking forward to it....part of me already wants to go hiking in the woods.

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