I am a slut. What does that mean?

What does being a ‘slut’ mean to me?
This is a hard one ….or so I think.
It shouldn’t be hard. This is a word/label that I’ve identified as for a very long time. Well, since being with Dan and embracing my sexuality. And that’s what it means to me, embracing my sexuality and being comfortable in my skin. Liking sex. Liking sexual energy. Not feeling shame or guild about my sexuality.
I also believe you can be slutty and not have a partner. I can be slutty with myself…and I usually am.
But, I talked with a girl over the weekend from Chicago….someone we have met before, and she self-identifies as a slut. When she described what it meant to her, she used a lot of the same philosophy, but she also threw in the word, ‘quickly’. She ‘quickly’ decides if she wants to have sex with someone, and then does. Dan and I looked at each other across the table and both agreed that even though we self-identify as ‘sluts’, neither of us are quick about it.
I love sex. I love most things to do with sex. I embrace the fact that I’m a sexual being. I love sex with different people. A lot of my life is about sex; presentations, workshops, intensives, podcasts, kinkstarter cards, books, etc. Yet, I’m not quick at all. I won’t just fuck anyone. There are many times that I wish I was much quicker with wanting to fuck someone. But, so far that isn’t my track record.
After talking to her, I actually found that I was turned off by how quick she says she can decide and follow through with fucking someone. There was a guy at the dinner that she was making plans with for that evening. They had just met. I just don’t work that fast. I love sex, but need to get to know the person first, unless it’s someone that Dan has set me up with.
Huh, actually, I take that back. I have met someone before online, gone out to dinner and taken to a hotel room right away. Freaked him out and then he couldn’t perform. He left really quick. So, the one time I decided to follow through with it, it still didn’t happen.

So, yes, I self-identify as a slut. I don’t have many sexual hang-ups and I feel sex is a very important part of my life. If I have an issue with how fast I work at hooking up with someone, I just need to work on that. I’m flirting with someone now, and we’ve been on 2 dates with the express purpose of hooking up. I still haven’t put it together. I need to get moving on that, while he’s still willing. 

Freya - Goddess of Sexuality


Freya – the Warrior Goddess of Sacred Sexuality

* a goddess that works hard and plays hard without apology *


Unlike modern female leaders who are branded “bitch” or “difficult to work with” as soon as they come into power, Freya is revered by her followers. It is tempting to attribute her popularity to her profound beauty, but there’s so much more to it than that. Freya’s personality is said to be magnetic, irresistible to god, mortals, and every creature in between. Here’s one theory as to why:  Freya owns her energy, her life force, and enjoys it with gusto - particularly her sexuality. It is said she enjoys the company of fairies and magic makers of all kinds. She’s an equal opportunity pleasure provider and receiver, consciously taking on many lovers to the mutual satisfaction of both parties.”


I came across Freya after a dream of a feathered cloak. I looked everywhere on google images to find an image that looked like it could be a goddess with a feathered cloak. None of the paintings really worked for me, but there was a statue that did (speaking of which, squirrel, off to buy that statue for my altar). Once I saw this statue and read about how she was a warrior and was free with her sexuality, I thought I’d try to get in touch with her.
A couple of weeks later, my husband and I were involved in a trance dance meditation at the Pearls of Wisdom. I dressed as a Viking and decided to dance with the intention of getting in touch with her. That was an amazing experience. Many that I had talked to that follow her, follow her because she is a warrior. But, when I danced and she came to me, she let me know that she was a Goddess of Sacred Sexuality and that’s how I should work with her. It felt so right. She felt right.
Soon after, I went looking for an amber necklace and ended up finding one at the Renn Faire. Beautiful hand crafted amber and silver necklace. Unfortunately, it likes to disappear every now and then. I’m not exactly sure where it is now, but hold hope that it will show up again when it’s time. I may go look for another one though, with the idea of working with her again.
Her falcon cloak always intrigued me as well. Though, I work with hawk energy more than falcon. But, it’s beautiful and so me. Recently my husband bought me a shawl with a print of feathers. It’s so beautiful and feels so magical when I put it on.
I also love the idea that she is a warrior and it’s time for me to start looking at that side of her as well. A warrior, a diviner with runes, a sexual being that enjoys her many lovers, powerful, a leader, and a master of Seidr (Norse magic and shamanism).

I need to embrace her and her fire and her since of work and play once again. ‘Satisfying her many lovers’, …….yes. I need to get involved in Sacred Sexuality again. Not that I ever left, but it’s calling me strongly again.