Half Marathon fears

Well, I’m not exactly sure what is causing this, and I don’t need a fix. But, I’m pretty scared of the half-marathon that I’ll be doing this Sunday. Terrified actually.

13.1 Miles of walking.

I found one that allows for me to walk at a slower pace than the others ones I found, but I still have this fear of coming in last. No, not coming in last. But, arriving and no one being at the finish line because I’m so last.

My first fear was that I couldn’t do it. Well, I walked 13 miles a couple of weeks ago. So, I know I can. Then, my fear was that I’d be picked up in a trail truck. Well, I found a race that allows more time for walkers. So, that shouldn’t be an issue.

I’ve also got Dan there to cheer me on, and the puppy will be with him. But, I still have a fear of being super last.

‘Chubby girl comes in 2 hours after everyone else’….

Yes, I know it should be about trying and finishing. Yes, I know that I should be proud of myself for all this training.

That’s logic.

What I’m feeling is emotions.

Of course, I’m also excited about it and won’t back out. But, …. *sigh*….

I haven’t figured out if I’m afraid of failing, succeeding or worse, not being good enough.

Of course, I’ve faced bigger fears and walked through them or been shoved through them by a very loving partner. I will do so with this fear as well.

And on the other side, I’ll wonder why I was so scared.