An Annoyance of Introverts


An annoyance of Introverts

  • Never displaying enthusiasm We're low-key, sure. But it's so deflating to bounce up to someone with good news and get "That's nice." Put some oomph into your attaboys (and attagirls). And in group activities, try to look like you're having fun if you are. You don't have to plaster on a grin, but at least think enthusiastic thoughts. They'll probably show in your demeanor.
I’m sure this can be an annoyance for my husband, boyfriend, kids and friends. I don’t bounce up and down if they give me good news. But, if the good news is by text or email, I’ve learned how to put smiley faces and exclamation points in it, so that it looks enthusiastic. In person, it’s just very hard for me to bring forth that kind of energy.

Understanding this, can minimize resentment in a relationship. If you have great news and are expecting an outburst from your introverted partner, you may not get what you are looking for. So, try telling your extroverted friends to get the response you need, to balance the response from your introverted ones.

Someone shared some amazing news a few weeks ago and though I gave her a smile and a ‘congratulations’….feeling joy for her inside of me, thinking I was radiating it to her….it was the bouncing, arms spread wide, ‘congratulations’ from an extroverted friend that she truly appreciated. At that moment, I truly wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be happy for this person. Well, I was happy. So, why couldn’t I physically have that response that fed her? Because it’s not who I am.

I just have to remember that it doesn’t mean I’m broken.

Do I want to change? I’m not sure.

When I started riding the high school bus in jr. high…a high school friend tried to get me to sit in the back of the bus with them. Even though I knew them all, the idea terrified me. They were horsing around and having a great time. I felt much more comfortable sitting in the front of the bus by myself. I didn’t like sharing my seat with other people either. Some thought this was because I was snobby or strange. Add to it that I was in the gifted classes and they thought that meant that I thought I was better than them. Fortunately, I was nice to them when I could bring myself to interact, so I lost the snobby label.

But, even though I wished I was like the funny others, and the ones that joked around in class, it wasn’t to be. Add to it that I was being abused at home, and I turned into the person that learned not to draw attention to herself. I actually blamed that on the reason I didn’t interact with others, and if I could just get over that after growing up, it would be a sign that I had recovered from the abuse.

Once doing all this research on being an introvert, I may just have to accept that fact that that is who I am.

There is no ‘fixing’ because there is no ‘broken’.

I’m not shy anymore. Though I used to be painfully shy (which is not the same as introverted, but it was layered with it). So, now I’m a not shy, introvert.

This means that I can participate in events, interact with others, run my own meditation center, present, produce events, run workshops, etc. etc. But, I like time by myself, or more especially with my husband even if we are just working on our computers together.