Boyfriend

Poly Tools for the Win

We have a lot going on at the moment…..

My husband is getting ready to make some significant changes with one of his girlfriends…..i’m thinking about making changes with one of my girlfriends. He showed me pics of him and the girlfriend that is also my girlfriend and told me about some of their stuff. i worked on the packing list for my husbands cruise that he has planned with his third girlfriend, and i’ve got a date set up with someone new…..plus while my husband is on a cruise, i’m going away for the weekend with my boyfriend. ….. and have been thinking about inviting his wife to join us.

Crazy stuff……

And yet….neither of us has ‘pinged’ or become triggered. i’m thinking of inviting my boyfriend out to breakfast in the morning….so that we can talk about some of this stuff. But, i don’t think it will be a big deal for him.

Poly Tools for the win.

Though, i must admit that part of the reason i haven’t become triggered is because of all the lovely time that my husband and i have spent together. He’s made me feel so wanted and cherished. How can i not support him in what makes him happy?

It’s when i don’t feel like i’m being put first….or even considered….or have enough time with him that i get triggered and fear that he will push me away.

So far….even with all these relationships…i’m doing ok.

It’s a great feeling. I actually feel full, in a good way.
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A Joy of Poly ....Adventure

A joy of poly

As some of you might have read, I want to a kink party Saturday night and followed it up by going to a swingclub. At this swing club, i was part voyeur and part exhibitionist; masturbating in the big room where there were about 20 fucking in different arrangements.

Why is this a joy of poly? Well, I told both partners that I was going. Well, one is my power exchange partner, so I asked permission, and the other one I gave a heads up to. They were both encouraging and told me they wanted stories if anything naughty happened. They said this with a smile, practically pushing me to experience what I could.

To me, that’s a joy of poly. If either of them were feeling jealous, I knew they would speak up and tell me to go anyway. That’s how we communicate. So, when they told me to have fun, I knew they meant it. So, away I went with their full blessing. And I had fun.

I came back and wrote about the experience the next day and shared it with them both. They were both excited for me.

I love this. I love having partners that support my adventurous side and my slutty side. Two partners that are accepting of me. Two partners that trust me. Two partners that lift me up so that I can shine.

Yes. This can happen in Monogomy….well except for the slutty part I guess. …….Actually this hasn’t been my experience in Monogomy or any other Monogomous relationships that I’m aware of. Though there has to be some that exists.


So for me, this is ‘A Joy of Poly’. 
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The Joy of......


I think I'm going to write more joyful posts.....

The Joy of being Poly.....
The Joy of being a Slut...
The Joy of being a slave...
The Joy of......whatever is making me happy that day. 

I love this idea. 

For today.....i have 2. 

The Joy of being Poly and the joy of being a slut....pokemon. 

How can I write about the Joy of being poly and the joy of being a slut and the story be focused around Pokemon? Simple. The boyfriend. 

We couldn't meet on our usual Wednesday night because his wife had just gotten back from a trip and he wanted to spend time with her. So, we went out last night instead. We talked and talked about past relationships. He let me talk about the old boyfriend that I just came across again recently. 

And then we went out pokemon hunting. Oddly enough, this is something that I don't share with my husband. He tried it for an hour or so and just didn't get into it. Whereas, I love it and got the boyfriends wife to play and between the two of us, got him interested in playing. So, now we have something we share. So, after dinner, it was off to go hunting. A Joy of Poly. 

Before we left the restaraunt, I made sure to take off my panties. Just in case he was feeling frisky. Needless to say, I was wearing a skirt. It wouldn't make sense to take off panties if I was wearing pants. 

We also talked about what it was like to be a slut. He talked about his slutty past. I talked about my slutty past, which didn't match his for number of partners. Though I've had more kinky encounters. 

So, pokemon hunting in the dark. Downtown of a small town where we had met for dinner. Lots of people. Lots of dark places. After putting a hand on my ass, he realized what I had done to prepare for this time together. He smiled. Not once, not twice, not three times; he gave me the opportunity to push my slutty boundaries. He was great at making sure no one was around, and I could have always said no. But, I liked the feeling of my heart racing, my breath coming out as panting, him taking charge, and him protecting me and us. I was thinking clearly for the most part and made the choice each time to follow through with what he asked. And it was fucking hot! I'm so glad I didn't chicken out. The Joy of being a Slut. 



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Introvert does not equal Broken

One of the things that I’ve really been paying attention to lately, are the signs of me being an introvert. Some of these things I want to fix, some I’m working on, and some I’m ok with keeping.
 
The thing that I have to remember is that I’m not broken. When I’m driving to someone’s house for the weekend by myself, and I’m wanting to turn around and just go home and be by myself…..it’s ok. Do I do it? Well, I have. This time I didn’t. I knew that if I went home, I’d beat myself up for making the decision to turn around, and for being home by myself when I know that’s the worst thing I could do while he is gone.
 
During my time there, I found that I wasn’t peppy. I wasn’t ‘on’. I was able to be me, and that meant being quiet and just listening most of the time. Though Katie would ask me direct questions and we’d have discussions…for the most part I was just quiet dawn, and I loved it. I didn’t have to entertain anyone and they didn’t feel like they needed to entertain me. Introverts, hosting an introverts. They actually had another friend there that was more introverted and shy than me.
 
Then, it was off to Dayton. Again, feeling like I just wanted to go home, regardless of the fact that I really wanted to see my boyfriend. Then, I get there and it’s all the family. Though I’m slowly getting to know them, and they make me feel truly comfortable, sometimes I just want to stand on the sidelines. This time, they wouldn’t let me. All of us gathered in the living room. D’arts son helped him move the loveseat so that D’art and I could see the TV. Then, it was Michele and her boyfriend, Robert and his wife, Anthony, the 3 dogs and D’art and me. I curled up with D’art, didn’t participate in much of the conversation and enjoyed the family movie.
 
It’s funny, because I do compare myself to others. I imagine Drew and Trina visiting Kevin and Katie and being friendly and energetic. I imagine that this is what Kevin and Katie want from someone visiting them. Then, I imagine D’arts ex-girlfriends. I imagine them, Kris and Xtine, being all funny and friendly, loud, extroverted, bearing gifts for everyone….and I wonder if they see me as lacking. The quiet one.
 
This is where I want to just be me. Let me be quiet. Don’t expect a bundle of energy. I want to be accepted for who I am at the moment.
 
Sometimes I’m all giggles, but I’d rather it be natural and not pretend.
 

So, there are a couple of things I’m working on. A couple of things that I’d like to work on later. And then there are a couple of things that I’m totally ok with, in myself. Like everyone, I could use some tweeking. But, I’m not broken. 
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Still a Qadishtu?

I’ve been wondering......will I remember to embrace being Qadishtu while on this path of getting smaller? I thought once I started getting fit again, that I’d be reaching out to help heal others more, through intimacy and sex. But, so far, that hasn’t happened.

It’s probably more about not having time ....no time to look in the mirror and get used to and accept how i look now. No time to be available for people. No time for the new boyfriend or current friends, let alone anyone new that might come into my life.

Will me feeling sexy draw people to me? Will my armor fall away so that others can reach me? I don’t know. I haven’t been this weight since getting pregnant with my second son. He’s 23. That’s 23 years of armor. And add 4 years to that. I was this weight soon after having my first son, and never lost it. Well for a split second I did hit 199, but it scared the shit out of me when my main perp made a pass at me and I gained it all back plus more.

At this point in my life, if that happened now, bad bad things would happen......to him. I have 2 men in my life that would protect me, and that doesn’t count what I’d do to protect myself.

Anyway......that’s beside the point, and I don’t want to go off on a tangent.

I’m at a restaurant waiting for my second man.....he loves how I look, regardless of me being squishy. Though, he doesn’t like my hair cut.....which is too bad, because I’m enjoying it. I was able to drive here with my windows down and not have a mouthful of hair.

Life if good.

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