Rough Body Play


Some people wonder what it is about rough body play that I enjoy so much. Sometimes I wonder that same thing.

Well, I tried to explain it on the podcast recently, but am not sure I did a great job of it. As a presenter and podcast host and author, it’s funny how many times i get stuck trying to put feelings into words.

But, i’ll give it a try….

There are a couple of reasons. First of all, I like to trust someone so much that they can let their inner beast out to play. I trust them not to go too far. They can only do this in a consensual way, if they are trusted. I like being the person that allows them to play with this part of themselves. Second, it puts me into my body. As an introvert with PTSD, I spend a LOT of time in my head. It detaches me from physical sensation that can be overwhelming. But, when I’m not feeling my body, it means that I experience the world through a ‘numb bubble’. That’s not how I want to interact with the world. I want to be grounded in my body, and rough body play does that for me. Plus, as long as I’m in a safe place, with a person that cares about me and my experience, the endorphins are amazing! Intense! I like intense emotions in my play.

This only works for me in consensual rough play though. If it’s not consensual, it turns into adrenaline, which becomes the fight or flight response. Not my happy place. Hmmmm, ok, there is a little of that going on as well, wondering if they are going to go over the edge of their control. But, it’s hot watching them let the beast out and take themselves to the edge. To be so passionate that they want to take me, but knowing that there is a line they can’t cross. Hot, hot.

Some of this can’t be explained. It’s a feeling not a thought. It’s a tingle. It’s a sparkle in the eye. It’s heat. There is a little fear involved. There is a lot of trust. There is a lot of vulnerability on both sides. Both have to let down their walls to a degree. Underneath, there is actually a layer of compassion and forgiveness on both sides. Think about it. If someone punches someone wrong and there is damage done, both need to come from a sense of compassion, both for the person that was damaged and the one that did the damage. There also has to be that layer of forgiveness towards the one doing the damage, as it wasn’t the intent. If the one being punched turns around in anger, they’ve just destroyed the trust. Seems backwards, doesn’t it? But, if you don’t come from a place of forgiveness, the person on Top isn’t going to trust themselves to be on top again.


Spinning....Out of Control


So, today I’m feeling pretty good. The husband and I had a talk which seemed to diffuse anything that was going on with me….and then we added some special time …which was icing on the cake, in helping set things straight with my emotions.
But, what is frustrating is that a couple hours after the talk with my husband, I was talking to someone at the Poly meeting that was telling me that they were trying to stabilize their emotions and that they were interested in my Reiki class coming up. Well, that comment had me smacking my forehead. Why? Well, as I was telling this guy, I teach Psychic Hygiene during that class.
Psychic Hygiene is grounding, cleansing, and shielding. Skills that all energy workers should know. And something we should practice every day, since energy workers are usually highly sensitive to other peoples energy and to leaking out their own. 

Smacking the forehead, because if I had followed through with a daily routine of psychic hygiene for myself, I  may not have gotten so emotionally out of control as to feel that I’m broken.

Sometimes this spinning out of control feeling is hormones; sometimes it’s an energy imbalance. Start with the energy work, then remember to exercise (hah, had stopped doing that as well), then remember the meditation (haven’t been great with that)…..and then remember other tools in the toolbox, but don’t forget the psychic hygiene as one of those very basic and powerful tools.