kink

A Joy of Poly ....Adventure

A joy of poly

As some of you might have read, I want to a kink party Saturday night and followed it up by going to a swingclub. At this swing club, i was part voyeur and part exhibitionist; masturbating in the big room where there were about 20 fucking in different arrangements.

Why is this a joy of poly? Well, I told both partners that I was going. Well, one is my power exchange partner, so I asked permission, and the other one I gave a heads up to. They were both encouraging and told me they wanted stories if anything naughty happened. They said this with a smile, practically pushing me to experience what I could.

To me, that’s a joy of poly. If either of them were feeling jealous, I knew they would speak up and tell me to go anyway. That’s how we communicate. So, when they told me to have fun, I knew they meant it. So, away I went with their full blessing. And I had fun.

I came back and wrote about the experience the next day and shared it with them both. They were both excited for me.

I love this. I love having partners that support my adventurous side and my slutty side. Two partners that are accepting of me. Two partners that trust me. Two partners that lift me up so that I can shine.

Yes. This can happen in Monogomy….well except for the slutty part I guess. …….Actually this hasn’t been my experience in Monogomy or any other Monogomous relationships that I’m aware of. Though there has to be some that exists.


So for me, this is ‘A Joy of Poly’. 
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Rough Body Play


rough


Some people wonder what it is about rough body play that I enjoy so much. Sometimes I wonder that same thing.

Well, I tried to explain it on the podcast recently, but am not sure I did a great job of it. As a presenter and podcast host and author, it’s funny how many times i get stuck trying to put feelings into words.

But, i’ll give it a try….

There are a couple of reasons. First of all, I like to trust someone so much that they can let their inner beast out to play. I trust them not to go too far. They can only do this in a consensual way, if they are trusted. I like being the person that allows them to play with this part of themselves. Second, it puts me into my body. As an introvert with PTSD, I spend a LOT of time in my head. It detaches me from physical sensation that can be overwhelming. But, when I’m not feeling my body, it means that I experience the world through a ‘numb bubble’. That’s not how I want to interact with the world. I want to be grounded in my body, and rough body play does that for me. Plus, as long as I’m in a safe place, with a person that cares about me and my experience, the endorphins are amazing! Intense! I like intense emotions in my play.

This only works for me in consensual rough play though. If it’s not consensual, it turns into adrenaline, which becomes the fight or flight response. Not my happy place. Hmmmm, ok, there is a little of that going on as well, wondering if they are going to go over the edge of their control. But, it’s hot watching them let the beast out and take themselves to the edge. To be so passionate that they want to take me, but knowing that there is a line they can’t cross. Hot, hot.

Some of this can’t be explained. It’s a feeling not a thought. It’s a tingle. It’s a sparkle in the eye. It’s heat. There is a little fear involved. There is a lot of trust. There is a lot of vulnerability on both sides. Both have to let down their walls to a degree. Underneath, there is actually a layer of compassion and forgiveness on both sides. Think about it. If someone punches someone wrong and there is damage done, both need to come from a sense of compassion, both for the person that was damaged and the one that did the damage. There also has to be that layer of forgiveness towards the one doing the damage, as it wasn’t the intent. If the one being punched turns around in anger, they’ve just destroyed the trust. Seems backwards, doesn’t it? But, if you don’t come from a place of forgiveness, the person on Top isn’t going to trust themselves to be on top again.

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