The Co-Top Tango


So, in the scene, if more than on person tops another person at the same time, it’s called ‘co-topping’.

Though i’m usually a bottom, i have co-topped with my Master a few times. i love it personally. It’s a new way to interact and connect to both my Master and another human. i love the energy it produces. i love the looks He gives me as we both touch the same person, hearing them moan.

He and i have different skills. As a Dom, He knows how to Dom. As a submissive, i know what it’s like to submit and what can turn a submissive on. Because of this, we have a unique combination to offer a bottom.

When we started co-topping, i was so fresh and had no clue what to do. So, Master would have me get near the person’s face and then let Him know their reactions. So, if someone was on a cross, i’d stand in front of them, maybe touch their arm or their shoulders; all the while giving him clues with eye contact, facial expressions, head nods and hand gestures, to let Him know if they were enjoying the scene or not. If i couldn’t tell or if it looked like they weren’t enjoying something in particular, i’d lean in and remind them that they have a safe word and they were expected to use it; that we don’t know their body, so it would be more fun for everyone if they would speak up if needed. i would usually get a nod of the head. Sometimes they would say something like ‘can you tell Him not to…..’ or ‘Can you tell Him harder please?’. Sometimes they would say nothing at all and i’d have to trust that they’d speak up if they needed to. Then, i’d look at Dan and shrug. That was the sign that i didn’t get any good information from the bottom to lead him one way or the other. i liked this method because it felt like i was facilitating both other people having a good time.

As i got more comfortable with spanking, we moved into the ‘Vanna White’ phase. This was where He would have out a table full of toys. He’d have the bottom go through the toys and take out the items they didn’t want us playing with. Then, He would start the scene and i’d pick out the implements to hand to Him. This helped warm me up to the idea of actually using some of the toys. There were moments where that would happen, but we wouldn’t have negotiated having me touch them as well. i didn’t want to overstep boundaries.

Next, i moved up a level to actually asking the bottoms if they were ok with me touching them during a scene. i would try toys but found that i really likes using my bare hand. i’m more about the sensual and like creating soft touch while He brings them pain. The combination is amazing. And we have a way of dancing around each other. Through the use of eye contact and body motions and head nods, we can usually tell what the other one is going to do next. Or i’ll motion that i want their ass and he’ll move to their back or feet or somewhere else. Sometimes he’ll motion to me that he’s going to do something and i dance around him.

It really is a dance.

i can’t wait until we find someone that just wants to be used. Maybe i’ll be brave enough to step into the arena of pain and using. That way she can get both from both.

A Joy of Poly ....Adventure

A joy of poly

As some of you might have read, I want to a kink party Saturday night and followed it up by going to a swingclub. At this swing club, i was part voyeur and part exhibitionist; masturbating in the big room where there were about 20 fucking in different arrangements.

Why is this a joy of poly? Well, I told both partners that I was going. Well, one is my power exchange partner, so I asked permission, and the other one I gave a heads up to. They were both encouraging and told me they wanted stories if anything naughty happened. They said this with a smile, practically pushing me to experience what I could.

To me, that’s a joy of poly. If either of them were feeling jealous, I knew they would speak up and tell me to go anyway. That’s how we communicate. So, when they told me to have fun, I knew they meant it. So, away I went with their full blessing. And I had fun.

I came back and wrote about the experience the next day and shared it with them both. They were both excited for me.

I love this. I love having partners that support my adventurous side and my slutty side. Two partners that are accepting of me. Two partners that trust me. Two partners that lift me up so that I can shine.

Yes. This can happen in Monogomy….well except for the slutty part I guess. …….Actually this hasn’t been my experience in Monogomy or any other Monogomous relationships that I’m aware of. Though there has to be some that exists.

So for me, this is ‘A Joy of Poly’. 

Judging at GLLA

The experience of being a judge at GLLA this past weekend was pretty surreal. I’ve judged before at a local bar contest and at International, but for some reason the regional seems more important.


At the bar level contest, it wasn’t built to feed into anything and the people running had been coaxed into it. It wasn’t a decision of theirs. So, once I realized they weren’t taking it seriously, I stopped taking it seriously.

At the International level, they’ve already done the work to get there. Regional is where they have to prove themselves. International has them competing against others that have proven themselves at a regional level. AT this point they’ve shown their stuff before and been judged on it. Now ‘it is what it is’. Best foot forward, but if nothing else, ‘I made it to International.’

So, to me, the Regional level is more important. This couple represents the region, the contest producers and the regional community. Knowing this, has me feeling like I’m under a larger spotlight.

I think we had a hard time this time around because there were 3 couples. This is a first for GLLA. And even worse, they were all great couples in their own right. The scoring points were amazingly close. All of us as judges were talking about the closeness, and just decided that we vote with our hearts and let the points fall as they may.

It was also a hard spot for me because I knew one of the couples. It’s hard enough to judge anyone, let alone someone I know and their sad history. I had to keep from crying a couple of times. Some of the judges weren’t so successful with that. Oddly enough I didn’t have an issue with remaining un-biased. That was one of the biggest worry’s.

Another worry was that I wouldn’t fit in. A couple of the judges I didn’t know but there was also Master Z of Dallas and Master Alex Keppler. I’ve chatted with them both bore, but Master Dan has been with me and did most of the talking. In this situation, I was a ‘peer’ as a judge but also slave on a team of mostly Masters. So, there was the potential of messing up and making my Master look bad. He didn’t seem to be worried about it though.

Huh, I just realized that he didn’t give me any rules or guidance about my judging. That’s odd. Or is it because I didn’t ask if he had any requirements. It used to be that I would have asked. So, does that mean that it doesn’t matter? Or that his requirements are so ingrained in me that I don’t have to ask. It better be the latter.

I also had to go through the phase of ‘what will I wear?’. I wanted to wear my corsets but it’s hard to sit in a corset for that many hours though. I know, first world problems.

I did get over my ‘i don’t like to judge people’ thing telling myself that i’m not judging them, i’m judging their actions ....and i want the best couple to represent what it is that i love and to show a good example.

i hope i made Him proud.