Stress VS. Meditation


It’s funny how even good things can cause stress. But, funnier still how meditation can help with how you handle stress. Though, is it meditation, my medication or a combination? Probably a combination, but I have no interest in stopping my ptsd medication any time soon, in case that is helping out here.
We are buying a new house. Well, actually, my husband’s girlfriend is buying a new house and we are moving in. Yet, it’s not a single home. It’s 2 homes connected by a door. The ad for the house said ‘3 bedroom home with a mother-in-law suite’. Well, It’s not a suite, it’s a house! A 3 bedroom 2-story house, with a 3 bedroom ranch attached to it. The unicorn of poly houses!

So, exciting, right? Yes, and no. Dan and I haven’t lived with another person in 6 years. It’s just been us in our cozy little nest. Now we are going to be in a large house, and have another person attached to it. Yes, there is a door, but there is still someone on the other side. There will be a lot more sharing of space. As 2 introverts, I’m just not sure how we will handle it. The dog will love it, I’m sure.

This means packing. Lots of packing. Every spare moment, which there isn’t a lot of, is spent packing. Especially since we are having our yard sale this Saturday. Why? When there is 3 weeks till closing? 4 weeks until move in date? Because Dan and I are presenting in Indianapolis and Michigan the 2 weekends before closing. These have been scheduled for a long time and are both events that we’ve never done before. So, we don’t want to cancel because of that, and because presenting feeds our souls. It recharges us. I NEED to be able to present, to teach, to share……otherwise all this crap I’ve been through wasn’t worth it. I use it to help others in our presentations and intensives.
And gluttons for punishment, we also did a poly intensive last weekend. 6 hours teaching 14 people. Exhausting, but so much fun! Except for one couple……oy! And drove to Cleveland on a weeknight to present on power exchange to a group up there.
But, back to stress. House, packing, the stress of finding a house, the stress of waiting to see if the house is really going to close, packing. Intensive, prepping for intensive, packing. Presenting, prepping for presentations. The podcast, interviewing for the podcast. The Room, opening and closing for groups at the room.

That’s not enough. Not only are we closing on a house and getting ready to live with someone, and having to change my mind from the resistance, but we are also newly in a business partnership with 2 other couples, getting ready to make the biggest adult ‘community center’, aka dungeon/party/workshop space in the Midwest (except maybe GD2 in Chicago). The building should close with the bank within the next week. So, that means staff meetings. And paperwork, and lawyers and zoning meetings. Luckily I don’t have to do the zoning meetings or the lawyers, but I do have to be involved in the directors meetings and have a saw on the paperwork. So much email back and forth.

House, moving in with husbands girlfriend, business partnership, new building for business, closing CIC over the next couple of months, packing……did I mention packing? Not only the apartment but the CIC.

AND we are in the advertising stages of our event, Beyond the Love! Thank goodness for a great staff and car rides. Why car rides? For our BTL producers meetings. That’s when we talk over all the stuff that needs to be done.

Oy!!! Why does it feel like I’ve left out something?

Oh yes. Dan’s first ex-wife texted me a couple of weeks ago, needing a shoulder. I was her shoulder when she started her healing path, and then she got pissed at me and we didn’t talk for a few years. Then, she found me on facebook and we are cordial to each other. But, one night, a Wednesday night because Dan wasn’t home, she texted me. She was close to a nervous break down and just needed to vent. I was her shoulder. It felt weird, but comfortable at the same time. It’s what I do.
Then, even more recently, my sister wrote me out of the blue. Another person that I was helping with her healing path, and then she got pissed at me after being diagnosed with cancer and stopped talking to me. This was after having daily communication.
Stress. I’ve got stress. I’ve got stress by the bucket load.
It doesn’t help that I’ve put exercise and meditation to the side to make room for everything else. These 2 things are crucial to my survival. Truly!
Meditation is believe is the only way I’ve survived all of this. It allows me to take everything one moment at a time. I keep a task list so that I don’t forget all that needs to be done, but otherwise, it’s one step at a time. I can’t worry about everything that is going on. I’ve learned to delegate somewhat. And I breathe. I take moments to just sit with me. And I breathe.
Mediation, slowing down my thought process. Feeling when things could shift into depression or anxiety. This has kept me from jumping off the deep end or hiding under the covers or totally losing my mind. Which is a good thing, since these are all wonderful things that are happening.
In a month, everything will be different. We will be in the house. The new business building will be bought and will be in the process of transformation. Or it won’t.
It’s about the journey…and slowing down the mind with meditation, allows me to smell the roses while everything on the outside feels a little chaotic.

Back to meditation in the morning for me. 


Spinning....Out of Control


So, today I’m feeling pretty good. The husband and I had a talk which seemed to diffuse anything that was going on with me….and then we added some special time …which was icing on the cake, in helping set things straight with my emotions.
But, what is frustrating is that a couple hours after the talk with my husband, I was talking to someone at the Poly meeting that was telling me that they were trying to stabilize their emotions and that they were interested in my Reiki class coming up. Well, that comment had me smacking my forehead. Why? Well, as I was telling this guy, I teach Psychic Hygiene during that class.
Psychic Hygiene is grounding, cleansing, and shielding. Skills that all energy workers should know. And something we should practice every day, since energy workers are usually highly sensitive to other peoples energy and to leaking out their own. 

Smacking the forehead, because if I had followed through with a daily routine of psychic hygiene for myself, I  may not have gotten so emotionally out of control as to feel that I’m broken.

Sometimes this spinning out of control feeling is hormones; sometimes it’s an energy imbalance. Start with the energy work, then remember to exercise (hah, had stopped doing that as well), then remember the meditation (haven’t been great with that)…..and then remember other tools in the toolbox, but don’t forget the psychic hygiene as one of those very basic and powerful tools.


Hiking - Being Present

I found it interesting, how my thoughts were working today as we began our hike to a waterfall in the great Smokey Mountains. We were wanting to stop and do our half hour meditation there. We found the beginning of a little path, a stone to sit on and began the timer.

There is a saying, ‘meditate when it’s easy, meditate when it’s hard’. So many people walking by the entrance to our little hiding spot on their way up to the falls. So many talking. There is no way a bear could have snuck up on us while were were meditating, because of all the noise.

Thoughts running through my head included:
- How are they going to enjoy nature if they are so busy talking
- Don’t people know that hiking is about the meditative part of it
- Aren’t parents teaching their kids to enjoy the journey instead of the destination
- Did I let my kids talk so loud, making it impossible for others to enjoy nature
- Is anyone being present

Then, noticing all the questions and judgements in my head, I had to let them go. Once we were done meditating, I made sure to be present for my part of the hike. And really enjoyed the waterfalls and the rhododendrons and other beautiful sights. Watched Master climb rocks and we both had our picture taken behind the waterfall. It was a lot of fun, and very strenuous.

We are doing it again tomorrow!

Meditation = One Day at a Time

Master mentioned that he isn’t struggling or stressing with the day to day of ‘us’. Even though our schedules and responsibilities have changed since I started working, we just don’t seem to be stressing about it.

I noticed that myself when I realized it was monday morning and i was going to drop the dog off at doggie daycare and go to the gym for the first time in 3 weeks, shower at the gym and then get to work on time. AND be expected to carry more of the work load at work. I didn’t stress about it. One step at a time. Don’t worry about the rest of the day, it would take care of itself.

That doesn’t mean not to plan for the future, but just to not worry about the outcome. i don’t need to know what is going to happen every minute. i just need an overall plan to keep me on course, and then let the chips fall where they may. It makes for a less stressful day.

And I owe it all to meditating.

dawn meditating