no hips

Built like a tree


I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I know this. And I’m glad I’m healthy. And I know I’ll get used to the new shape of me. But, some moments are easier than others.

On Saturday we had a class to teach on flirting. I just couldn’t find anything to wear. Everything that I tried on, that would have looked ok before, now looked dumpy. I kept trying on skirts and they just hung on me. So, I ended up putting on a tight pair of leggings and a purple sweater with my tall boots. That ended up looking hot! …but I’ve been a skirt girl since joining this power exchange relationship. That’s actually part of our dynamic.

He’s ok with the pants. I’m the one having an issue.

My friend says I’ll find skirts that I enjoy again. I don’t know about that.

The doc says my body is going to shift a little over the next couple of months, so not to worry about it. I’m trying.

I NEED to feel confident at the moment. I NEED to feel sexy. Clothes help that happen for some dumb reason.

Why do I need this? Because otherwise I’m going to feel like I wasted money with this surgery.

The other part? I’ve been hoping the removal of my ‘apron’ would help me feel sexier and more confident. I want to experience more play, more people, more relationships, more sex. If I feel more sexy and confident, this is more likely to happen.

It also has to do with getting ready to turn 50. Not so sure why. 
Oddly enough, I’m having a hard time adjusting to my body in clothes. Other people say I’m looking hot, including my husband, boyfriend, girlfriend and someone else that I’m interested in……but I see myself as a curveless tree. My broad shoulders are now very noticeable again, now that I don’t have hips that are wider than they are. I’m a tree.
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