Polyamory

Poly Tools - Putting Myself in Someone Else's Shoes

Another tool that i like to use, and another one that is more recent and would have helped me out a LOT if i had figured this out earlier.

The tool is ‘putting myself in someone else’s shoes’. What this means is…..knowing what it’s like to be on my side of the fence and flipping it so that i can feel what it is like to be on the other side of the fence. For example, i want to tell my husband that the boyfriend and i would like to go on a trip. i want my husband to be supportive and happy for me. That means, when he tells me that he would like to go on a trip with his girlfriend, that i want to be as happy and supportive for him as i’d like for him to be for me.

Then, i get to spread that out. Another example: if i wanted to start dating someone else, i’d want my husband and boyfriend to be supportive. Therefore, i need to remember that if they come to me saying they want to start dating someone else. Simply because i want to give them the same support that i would like to have.

For some reason, this was a ‘aha’ for me about 3 years ago. We’ve been doing poly for 18 years. It would have made some of the earlier years so much easier for my husband, his girlfriends, our girlfriends and me. If i have figured this out…..i would have thought about how i’d want to be treated by a metamor and then putting myself in their shows with how they would like to be treated by me.

As a matter of fact, i’m learning a LOT from my boyfriends wife. She if very supportive of our relationship and very secure in her relationship with her husband. By being on the receiving end of her supportiveness, and feeling accepted by her, i’ve realized that that is what Dan’s other partners would like to feel from me.

It was rather enlightening when this ‘aha’ moment struck.

i still have to remind myself of it, but it’s much easier to remember now and has mellowed out my relationships with him and them.
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A Joyful Poly Moment

nd movie and told me to go to sleep. That he was going to watch part of it and then put me to bed. My bed that I only share with my husband, not the bed that I would share with Big D. I asked why and he said he thought I’d sleep better in my own bed. I’m not sure I agreed with that, it would have been nice to sleep in his arms. But, I was too tired to argue. I fell asleep in his arms on the couch.

After a while, he woke me up, and walked me to my bed. He tucked me in, laid down with me for a little bit and then kissed me good night. He made sure I was ok and then left for the night.


Arms wrapped around me would have been nice, but who could have asked for a more cherishing, romantic evening? I was too exhausted to move. He took care of me. I will always remember that, and fell in love with him all over again. 
There are some moments that just can’t go overlooked. Especially when looking at joys of polyamory. For some people, living a poly lifestyle can effortless. But, for many of us, it can be difficult as we swim through the waters of past baggage: fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, fear of not being enough, fear of unworthy. Regardless of the fact that most of these are emotional baggage, not based on logic of the situation, they can be hard to work through. Polyamory can bring all these fears to the front. Because of that, many of us have work to do to make these relationships work.
 
So, when something good happens I like to document it. Whether it’s a moment that I’ve overcome one of my fears, or a moment that I’ve enjoyed with a poly partner. I’m so attached to my husband, my primary partner, that documenting awesome moments with my other partner/s deserves recognition.
 
I’ll be writing a book about this one day. I think there should be more stories of joy.
 
So, the one I’m writing about today, involves the boyfriend of 3 years; Big D is what we’ll call him. First, let me set the stage. My husband is away with his girlfriend on a cruise. Each year they do a big vacation and each year I have a rough time with it. This one was the longest trip yet and the first cruise, which only he and I had done before. Over the last 5 years or so, I’ve made sure to take a trip myself at the same time, so that I’m not home sulking. Usually, I would go back home to visit family, something he isn’t interested in doing. But, this year I had thoughts of just picking a neat place to fly to: Arizona, San Francisco, Key West, the turtle island in the Carolinas, somewhere. I was actually excited about the fact that he’d be gone and I could pick a place to go on my own. Traveling alone is certainly not my preference, but I had built myself up to giving this a try. Then, the shoe dropped. An event had been scheduled at our place of business, and the business partner that had scheduled it, wasn’t going to be in town. My husband had already paid for his trip and the other 2 partners were going to an important wedding for dear friends. That left me. Me with the undefined plans. I was going to have to stay in town and mind The Space. 

I was upset. No vacation for me this year. No trip so that I could deal with the fact that my husband was going to be on a cruise for a week without me. How the hell was I going to deal with this? And not only all of that, but I’d be the only Director on duty at The Space while this event was going on, which was an all weekend event. That meant sleeping on the futon in my office when I could.

So, I was up late Thursday night up The Space for the group renting it for the weekend. Things had to be set out and furniture put together. Also, after that, I packed my husband’s suitcase for his trip.  I do this so that I feel involved, even though I’m not. Up early Friday morning, worried about his trip because there were 2 hurricanes that could be involved in his trip. Plus, it’s my last time seeing him before he leaves and I wanted every minute with him that I could get. Then, I went to my day job. Left at 1pm to go shopping for things that were needed at The Space; trashbags and such. Then, off to the Space with my computer in the back seat of my car, my big gaming computer. If I was going to be in my office for hours, might as well get some gaming done.

I get to the Space, work with the group that is renting the building and then set things up in my office. Luckily, I had made arrangements with a friend that knows how to set up and move the furniture. So, he was going to come in and take over for me each night. So, Friday I went to my day job and worked 4 hours on 4 hours of sleep and then worked 9 hours at The Space. I couldn’t sleep once I got home. I had the friend come in and take over for a couple of hours so that I could go home and sleep. Sleep didn’t happen. I drank more than a half bottle of wine and watched Netflix. The dog wasn’t even home to snuggle with. She was at Grandma’s so that I wouldn’t have to worry about walking her and such. This makes it worse. No one home with me in that huge house, not even the dog. No sleep. I just don’t sleep well when he’s gone.

After finally getting a couple hours of sleep from pure exhaustion, I went back to The Space at 7am and was there until 8pm. I did get a little nap in on the futon in the morning, but that was it for the day. Too much going on and too many people to talk to to get much rest in. But, at 8pm Big D showed up to spend some time with me, since my friend would be taking over for the night. When he showed up he introduced himself to the couple of people that I was hanging out with during a break in the event. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I found out later it’s because he saw me wobbling. When there was a pause in the conversation, he told everyone that we were out of there and he was taking me home and putting me to bed. No one made jokes about that, instead they agreed that I should be put to bed, that I looked wiped out.
 
So, he took me home. He told me to take a hot shower, poured me a glass of wine, put a blanket on the couch for me to snuggle under after my shower and then went to the grocery store to pick up something for him to cook for dinner. I did as I was told. It felt so good to be taken care of during my exhausted, disappointed, low moment. I took the hot shower and cried because it felt so good to be cared about by someone. I’m sure some of the crying was from just being tired and missing my husband….and the dog. Big D came back, cooked an amazing dinner, poured me another glass of wine and snuggled with me on the couch. We watched a movie together with me practically laying on top of him while he stroked my hair. It was so warm and relaxing. I felt so loved and cherished. We laughed over the movie and snuggled. Then, he started a 2




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A Joy of Poly ....Adventure

A joy of poly

As some of you might have read, I want to a kink party Saturday night and followed it up by going to a swingclub. At this swing club, i was part voyeur and part exhibitionist; masturbating in the big room where there were about 20 fucking in different arrangements.

Why is this a joy of poly? Well, I told both partners that I was going. Well, one is my power exchange partner, so I asked permission, and the other one I gave a heads up to. They were both encouraging and told me they wanted stories if anything naughty happened. They said this with a smile, practically pushing me to experience what I could.

To me, that’s a joy of poly. If either of them were feeling jealous, I knew they would speak up and tell me to go anyway. That’s how we communicate. So, when they told me to have fun, I knew they meant it. So, away I went with their full blessing. And I had fun.

I came back and wrote about the experience the next day and shared it with them both. They were both excited for me.

I love this. I love having partners that support my adventurous side and my slutty side. Two partners that are accepting of me. Two partners that trust me. Two partners that lift me up so that I can shine.

Yes. This can happen in Monogomy….well except for the slutty part I guess. …….Actually this hasn’t been my experience in Monogomy or any other Monogomous relationships that I’m aware of. Though there has to be some that exists.


So for me, this is ‘A Joy of Poly’. 
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The Joy of......


I think I'm going to write more joyful posts.....

The Joy of being Poly.....
The Joy of being a Slut...
The Joy of being a slave...
The Joy of......whatever is making me happy that day. 

I love this idea. 

For today.....i have 2. 

The Joy of being Poly and the joy of being a slut....pokemon. 

How can I write about the Joy of being poly and the joy of being a slut and the story be focused around Pokemon? Simple. The boyfriend. 

We couldn't meet on our usual Wednesday night because his wife had just gotten back from a trip and he wanted to spend time with her. So, we went out last night instead. We talked and talked about past relationships. He let me talk about the old boyfriend that I just came across again recently. 

And then we went out pokemon hunting. Oddly enough, this is something that I don't share with my husband. He tried it for an hour or so and just didn't get into it. Whereas, I love it and got the boyfriends wife to play and between the two of us, got him interested in playing. So, now we have something we share. So, after dinner, it was off to go hunting. A Joy of Poly. 

Before we left the restaraunt, I made sure to take off my panties. Just in case he was feeling frisky. Needless to say, I was wearing a skirt. It wouldn't make sense to take off panties if I was wearing pants. 

We also talked about what it was like to be a slut. He talked about his slutty past. I talked about my slutty past, which didn't match his for number of partners. Though I've had more kinky encounters. 

So, pokemon hunting in the dark. Downtown of a small town where we had met for dinner. Lots of people. Lots of dark places. After putting a hand on my ass, he realized what I had done to prepare for this time together. He smiled. Not once, not twice, not three times; he gave me the opportunity to push my slutty boundaries. He was great at making sure no one was around, and I could have always said no. But, I liked the feeling of my heart racing, my breath coming out as panting, him taking charge, and him protecting me and us. I was thinking clearly for the most part and made the choice each time to follow through with what he asked. And it was fucking hot! I'm so glad I didn't chicken out. The Joy of being a Slut. 



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A Joy of Poly.....Wine

I have been having a great time writing about my joys with poly.....

As i was in the shower this morning, it struck me that one of my joys of poly is just the fact that i get to experience the world through others eyes. There are things that Dan and i don't do together, because one of us isn't interested and the other one isn't interested enough to seek it out. BUT, if you are dating someone with different interests, you may end up doing some things you may or may not have thought of, and enjoy yourself, simply becasue it's something that the other person likes. 

For example, Dan doesn't drink. Won't drink. Can't drink. Actually, it would break our M/s contract if He did drink. He's been clean/dry since 1989, so that's a mandatory for Him. Out of respect for Him, i don't drink in front of Him and with alcoholism running in my family and it being an issue for me when i'm drepressed, i stay away from it on my own....But when you have a boyfriend that knows a little about wine and has done wine tastings before, and you've never done a wine tasting....what a great way to experience it. Yes, you can do this with friends. i know this. But, how much more fun to do it with someone you are in a relationship with?

So, we went to hocking hills for our anniversary, and one of the things we did was go to a winery down there and do some wine tasting. I didn't even know they had wineries in Ohio! And it was so much fun! Sipping the little bits of each flavor, being poured by the owner of the vineyard. And i'm not a wine drinker. i've never come across a wine that i like. But, that day i got to try 12 different wines (and remember why i don't like them.....bleck). And i caught a buzz, which was a surprise to me from those little sips. The owner took it as a challenge when he found out that i actually didn't like wine. It was his mission to find one i would like. And he won! From those 12, 11 were yuck. i'm not sure how people drink that stuff. But, 1....there was 1 that i could enjoy. So, we bought a bottle and sat out on the porch on a wicker couch, under the fans, overlooking the vineyards and enjoyed a glass, celebrating our anniversary. We only drank 1/2 a bottle and then had the owner recork it and we took the rest with us back to the cabin, along with another bottle for each of us. 

This is not something that was on my bucket list, i would have done on my own, and i don't have friends that i would have done this with. but what an amazing experience trying something new with someone important to me.

Now I can’t wait to go back and get another bottle…..though the next time i’m there, i’ll be with his wife.
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Couples Privilege

couple

Couples Privilege:

This seems to be a hot topic in the poly community lately. I’m not sure I understand what the issue is.
I just read an article to make sure that I understood the issue that people are having, and I still don’t get it. There are all kinds of poly and just because you go into it as a couple, and make decisions as a couple, doesn’t make it a ‘wrong’ kind of poly.
 
Yes, there are advantages to being a couple and then bringing other people in. For us, we try to be as honest about what we are looking for as possible. Sometimes it’s a person to date together, sometimes separately. And anyone I date, needs to know that my husband comes first. Is that wrong? It may be hurtful if the other person has low self-esteem or abandonment issues. But, is it ‘wrong’? Do we have to change who we are and how we deal with our poly relationships? I don’t think so.
 
I hear a lot of ‘what about the other people’? The third that you bring in? Ok. What about it? If we are up front with what we are looking for and what we have available to offer after a lot of soul searching, is it our fault if they decide it’s not what they want and expect us to change? This has happened a couple of times to us. It’s unfortunate.
I’ve had someone tell me it’s because I’m part of a couple that I can’t see what I wrong with this. OK. Well, I’m also a third to someone that is married and they work their relationship the same way. Their marriage with children is primary. I am second. Yes, he loves me and I’m his partner and he tries to make things fair to me, but it’s a different relationship than what he has with his wife.
 
There’s nothing wrong with that. I knew this going in. And if I want more than what is being offered, it’s my choice to stay or go. Same with those that join us; together or individually. Poly relationships are never going to be 100% fair. What would even be the point of that? And what does ‘fair’ even mean in this situation.
I’m starting to think that I’m in the minority with this thinking, at least vocally. How I see people live is very different. Rarely do I see poly pods that are 100% equal and ‘fair’.

I’m ok with being part of a couple that is limited in what they have to offer to others. And I’m ok with being a girlfriend to a married guy that puts his marriage first. Do I get privileges? Sure. Do they get privileges, sure.
 
I just finished the article and nope, I still don’t get what the issue is. Yes, I understand that in society a married couple gets more privileges than say, a triad; with banks, hospitals, even hotels. But, within relationships, people are allowed to set up how they want to do relationships. I actually think it’s a little rude for a new person to come in and then think that everything should automatically shift to make them an equal in the relationship. We’ve had that happen before too. It doesn’t work that way. Or maybe for some people it does, but not in my experience.

And it fees a little rude to assume what that newer person is looking for as well. To assume that they will have an issue with the couple having different responsibilities, etc. etc., means we are thinking for them. Instead get to know the person first. And to everyone, if it doesn’t work, follow your feet. Easier said than done, I know. But, in the end, if something doesn’t work for us then we have to make the choice to stay or go. And if we decide to stay, we need to be ok with not being able to change people or situations.
 
All in all, to assume that one way is wrong and one way is right just has that elitist feel. Monogamous isn’t better. Poly isn’t better. Certain types of poly aren’t better or worse than others. We are all different and therefore it makes sense that there are different ways of doing poly. Build what works for you and if it works, live it. If you meet someone that does it differently, and it’s not a fit, don’t judge, move on.

*Edit - I was part of a poly panel today…..and 8/9ths of the panel were part of a couple that then opened their marriage.



 
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Valentine's Day



Happy-Valentines-Day-Image-7



Valentine’s Day is a funny day for me. Not as bad as ‘sweetest day’, but pretty close. Why? Because it’s a made up day. Well, not really; it does had ancient roots as a fertility festival time. But, Valentine’s Day with the way Westerners celebrate it, it completely fake. It’s a day to prove your love to someone by buying them things. It’s a day of cards, candy, flowers. Those companies that sell these products need us to buy this stuff, so they push the guilt trips.
 
I don’t want to be bought something because it’s a day to buy it according to the media and companies that are selling stuff in stores. If I could stay out of the stores, I wouldn’t feel the need to buy anything. But, the pressure is there. And being poly, makes it even harder. Why? Because I saw my husbands girlfriend get flowers delivered from her new boyfriend. And then candy delivered from her other boyfriend. And my husband’ play partner had dinner made for them by a friend on their date night just before Valentine’s Day. I must say that I was a little jealous. Logically I knew I didn’t need my guys to prove anything to me with gifts …..but…..
 
If it was just me and my husband, like it used to be, gifts and cards wouldn’t be bought on Valentines Day. There just isn’t a need. We know we love each other, the cards will get thrown away at some point, the candy isn’t part of our eating plan, cut flowers are dead, and giving me a live plant is like handing someone over to a known murderer. So, what’s the point? We do we give these gifts on this day? And how did I get sucked into this year?
 
Well, it started with the resolve not to give each other cards or gifts, for all the reasons I mentioned above. I remained firm. Then, I was in the grocery store where the cards were right there as soon as you walked in the door. They were pretty and I looked. Then, I found one that I absolutely wanted to give to my husband partner. I flipped it over and saw that it was $9.00. $9 !!!!! What the hell? It’s a folded piece of paper with a saying. Granted it’s a nice piece of paper and I love the saying. But, I’m not paying $9 for a card that is going to gather dust or be thrown away. So, I put it back.
 
But, the line had been crossed. I had actually thought about getting a card. So, the next day when I was in the line at the post office and saw the rack of cards, I couldn’t resist temptation. And there was a card with a skunk on it. A skunk. Dan’s animal totem is a skunk. And right next to it was another card that was perfect for my boyfriend. Damn! I just couldn’t resist. I bought them, knowing that I was then going to have to let the husband know that I bought him a card so that he wouldn’t be taken by surprise since we don’t usually do that.
 
Then, the next day I’m in the grocery store again. There was candy. There was Star Wars candy that the boyfriend would LOVE. And there was the kind of candy that my husband likes slightly more than others. I look hard to find the perfect ones, and then add them to the grocery cart. What the hell am I doing? Am I really buying this stuff? I didn’t get anything from the boyfriend last year, probably because he heard that the husband and I didn’t exchange gifts. But, here I was this year buying cards AND gifts. And even went so far as to buy the boyfriend’s wife a card. I’ve really gone over the deep end.
 
The next day was my day to visit the boyfriend. I brought his gift and card, her card and even bought their son a bag of candy. I was uncontrollable. Kicking myself for falling into the Valentine’s trap. Afraid I was going to make my men feel obligated to buy me something in return on a day we don’t usually celebrate. But, also feeling happy that I had bought them something. I do like giving gifts, just not on days that society says I should or I’m a failure.
 
I warned the husband about the card and gift, assuring him that he didn’t need to give me anything in return. I knew he would accept my words.
 
But, the next day at the Poly Valentine’s dance, the boyfriend brings a gift bag with 2 things that are so ‘me’. Which makes me feel guilty because I only got him candy. And the day after Valentine’s day, on our date night, the husband gives me a gift right before bed. He’s excited about it…and it helped that he found it on sale the day after Valentine’s Day. I’m betting he fell into the same trap that I did about seeing the other partners giving gifts. It would have been ok if I hadn’t crossed that line, but I did. Which means he’d be the only one not giving a gift. He didn’t want to be THAT guy that society warns us about. The guy that is taking us for granted because he didn’t profess his love on the one day of the year that he should. Oh wait. The second day of the year. The first day is an anniversary day. Can’t forget that.
 
So, I’ve decided that if I’m going to give gifts of love, I’ll do it throughout the year at random. And the real gift I give him next Valentine’s Day, is the note before-hand that I don’t intend to buy him anything. That will be the best gift of all.
 

Now, to get through our anniversary in a couple of weeks. I’ve already bought him something and let him know ;) 
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Stress VS. Meditation

 meditation

It’s funny how even good things can cause stress. But, funnier still how meditation can help with how you handle stress. Though, is it meditation, my medication or a combination? Probably a combination, but I have no interest in stopping my ptsd medication any time soon, in case that is helping out here.
 
We are buying a new house. Well, actually, my husband’s girlfriend is buying a new house and we are moving in. Yet, it’s not a single home. It’s 2 homes connected by a door. The ad for the house said ‘3 bedroom home with a mother-in-law suite’. Well, It’s not a suite, it’s a house! A 3 bedroom 2-story house, with a 3 bedroom ranch attached to it. The unicorn of poly houses!

So, exciting, right? Yes, and no. Dan and I haven’t lived with another person in 6 years. It’s just been us in our cozy little nest. Now we are going to be in a large house, and have another person attached to it. Yes, there is a door, but there is still someone on the other side. There will be a lot more sharing of space. As 2 introverts, I’m just not sure how we will handle it. The dog will love it, I’m sure.

This means packing. Lots of packing. Every spare moment, which there isn’t a lot of, is spent packing. Especially since we are having our yard sale this Saturday. Why? When there is 3 weeks till closing? 4 weeks until move in date? Because Dan and I are presenting in Indianapolis and Michigan the 2 weekends before closing. These have been scheduled for a long time and are both events that we’ve never done before. So, we don’t want to cancel because of that, and because presenting feeds our souls. It recharges us. I NEED to be able to present, to teach, to share……otherwise all this crap I’ve been through wasn’t worth it. I use it to help others in our presentations and intensives.
 
And gluttons for punishment, we also did a poly intensive last weekend. 6 hours teaching 14 people. Exhausting, but so much fun! Except for one couple……oy! And drove to Cleveland on a weeknight to present on power exchange to a group up there.
But, back to stress. House, packing, the stress of finding a house, the stress of waiting to see if the house is really going to close, packing. Intensive, prepping for intensive, packing. Presenting, prepping for presentations. The podcast, interviewing for the podcast. The Room, opening and closing for groups at the room.

That’s not enough. Not only are we closing on a house and getting ready to live with someone, and having to change my mind from the resistance, but we are also newly in a business partnership with 2 other couples, getting ready to make the biggest adult ‘community center’, aka dungeon/party/workshop space in the Midwest (except maybe GD2 in Chicago). The building should close with the bank within the next week. So, that means staff meetings. And paperwork, and lawyers and zoning meetings. Luckily I don’t have to do the zoning meetings or the lawyers, but I do have to be involved in the directors meetings and have a saw on the paperwork. So much email back and forth.

House, moving in with husbands girlfriend, business partnership, new building for business, closing CIC over the next couple of months, packing……did I mention packing? Not only the apartment but the CIC.

AND we are in the advertising stages of our event, Beyond the Love! Thank goodness for a great staff and car rides. Why car rides? For our BTL producers meetings. That’s when we talk over all the stuff that needs to be done.

Oy!!! Why does it feel like I’ve left out something?

Oh yes. Dan’s first ex-wife texted me a couple of weeks ago, needing a shoulder. I was her shoulder when she started her healing path, and then she got pissed at me and we didn’t talk for a few years. Then, she found me on facebook and we are cordial to each other. But, one night, a Wednesday night because Dan wasn’t home, she texted me. She was close to a nervous break down and just needed to vent. I was her shoulder. It felt weird, but comfortable at the same time. It’s what I do.
 
Then, even more recently, my sister wrote me out of the blue. Another person that I was helping with her healing path, and then she got pissed at me after being diagnosed with cancer and stopped talking to me. This was after having daily communication.
 
Stress. I’ve got stress. I’ve got stress by the bucket load.
 
It doesn’t help that I’ve put exercise and meditation to the side to make room for everything else. These 2 things are crucial to my survival. Truly!
 
Meditation is believe is the only way I’ve survived all of this. It allows me to take everything one moment at a time. I keep a task list so that I don’t forget all that needs to be done, but otherwise, it’s one step at a time. I can’t worry about everything that is going on. I’ve learned to delegate somewhat. And I breathe. I take moments to just sit with me. And I breathe.
 
Mediation, slowing down my thought process. Feeling when things could shift into depression or anxiety. This has kept me from jumping off the deep end or hiding under the covers or totally losing my mind. Which is a good thing, since these are all wonderful things that are happening.
 
In a month, everything will be different. We will be in the house. The new business building will be bought and will be in the process of transformation. Or it won’t.
 
It’s about the journey…and slowing down the mind with meditation, allows me to smell the roses while everything on the outside feels a little chaotic.
 

Back to meditation in the morning for me. 


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Stepping out of my shell

Well, I stepped out of my comfort zone yesterday and decided to do something with the ‘poly pod’. Why do i call it the ‘poly pod’? Well, i’m not comfortable with ‘family’, as my kids and granddaughter are my ‘family’. i like ‘tribe’ and ‘clan’ except that some of us don’t really interact with others of us, and some are new to the mix. So, ‘poly pod’ just seemed to pop into my head. i’m sure i’ve heard of it somewhere recently.

polyamory8



Doing all of this research on introverts had me thinking that i really do need to work at nurturing relationships. So, let’s do a potluck with all of us. And that’s what i’ve put together. That way none of have to decide who to spend time with. bat has her new girlfriend down, Karen it dating someone new, i’d like to spend time with my boyfriend but don’t want to leave my husband or his wife behind, and i’m betting Dan likes having his girls all together. A potluck sounded like a good idea.

It’s going to be food....and boardgames, on neutral territory. Well, neutral for the most part since Dan and i own the space. But, it’s not specifically someones house where anyone would feel like a guest instead of a peer.

Part of me is looking forward to it....part of me already wants to go hiking in the woods.

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Submission

If anyone is actually reading this blog, you will notice that my posts jump all over the place. From reflecting about Qadishti, Weightloss, Walking, Bodhisattva, Oracle cards, and other random items...every now and then I also ramble about my power exchanges experiences....in my case at this moment, submission.
submissiveness_by_glamurosa666-d4qo8wg
I usually reflect on topics like this in my personal journal, but can’t think of any reason not to share it on here.

I only wanted to mention it because in the last 2 weeks, I’ve had 2 different people tell me that they are interested in me, because of my acceptance of my desire to submit and serve. They don’t want to own me. They understand I am owned and respect the relationship that Master and I have. But, they want to taste what i have to offer. And being in a poly relationship allows me to explore these ‘tasting’ opportunities.

One person in my life is truly enjoying my submissive tendencies, though he is only interested in it from a bedroom perspective and won’t let me serve him (huh, something else to blog about). He likes that i like pain and trust him enough to let him try some things that he used to be able to do with a previous partner, but his wife is totally not into.

The next person, wrote me recently to let me know that the fact that i embrace my submissive/slave side, totally turns him on and he wants to explore that with me. He wants to taste it. He said thinking about experiencing a piece of that energy himself, well....what he said it does to him, i will leave for the personal journal.

My submissiveness nature, is being found as something that is hot. I’m not used to that. It’s been mentioned that the slutty side of me is seen as hot, not the submissive side though. I’m going to sit with this for awhile.
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