Family of Origin vs Family of Choice

family of choice

The last couple of weeks have been very eye opening for me. I’ve watched my family of choice support Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner for coming out as a Trans woman…and I’ve seen my family of origin sink into their hate of anything that is different that they don’t understand.
It was ugly. I posted a facebook poster about how everyone is courageous and on their own journey and my Aunt Betty and the daughter of a friend of mine decide to go at it on my post. Then, my mother came back and shouted ‘HE’S A FAG’. Oh my word, really? On my facebook post? DELETE. Yep, I deleted the whole post. I had 1% power on my phone and I used it to delete their hateful post. I was so embarrassed of my family and hope that my friends, and gay family members that haven’t come out of the closet yet, didn’t see it.
When I look at my growth as a person, my family of origin in the barometer that I look at. Wow. It’s no wonder I never fit in. That level of hate and judgement for someone they don’t even know. It’s unbelievable to me. And it’s all of my family. I’m so glad I got the kids away from that sort of atmosphere.
My husband is upset because I leave them on my facebook. I don’t know why I do it. It is my only way of contact. I don’t phone them anymore. I don’t have any contact with my sister Teresa anymore after our fight, which I still don’t have a clue as to what it was over. So, facebook it is. It’s also satisfying to me to give them peeks as to who I am. How I’m a happy person in love with life. How I can be compassionate and loving. No spewing of hate from me.
My friends seem to enjoy that part about me. My family of origin could care less. Not a single one of them spoke up when I started posting about losing (Master) Rick a couple of days ago. Not a single one offered support. My friends (family of choice did) and they are the ones that have been there for me. I don’t get it. I’ve never gotten it.
My mother (we won’t speak of my father), has never supported me in anything I’ve done or wanted to do through my life. From accepting the invitation to be in the gifted program in elementary school, to being in the band in jr. high, to staying after school to be in the Keyettes in highschool, to having my first child, to buying a house, to getting a divorce…she has never supported me in any of these endeavors. Yet, my chosen family support me in everything I do. Every presentation, every event, every book, every project, nothing but support.

So, I understand why my husband would be confused as to why I keep them on facebook. Hell, after writing all of this…..I wonder myself. Unless it really does boil down to showing them that I survived and am happy with my life. (not that they care)